My blog is funny, interesting and touches on all kinds of topics. There’s a surprise in every post. Enjoy!Continue reading
That’s just sad, poor abandoned blog.
And here I just started another, but on a topic I think I have a lot more on which to write.Continue reading
What have you done to help another? To try to make the world a better place than when you found it? To give back?
And remember this…
“Make sure you dress in rags, have no technological devices, and trash up your house – then you look deserving of any welfare benefits you may need.”Continue reading
I feel so powerless. This is problematic when going after a Masters in Social Work. How can I do this work if I feel nothing will ever come of it? I am too small, insignificant…so many other competing evil powers over my head.Continue reading
I went to my psych’s office Thursday for the first appointment after two months. That’s after a few years – first as a high risk, suicidal patient, then later as things changed, I made some things change, got better on newer meds, got more stable over all. I was happy to be there again, because a lot has gone on this first quarter of grad school. I was telling him about that stuff and about a half hour in he says is there anything else I want to talk about because he has something he needs to tell me. I was intrigued so I told him to tell me. And he said he’s been recruited into this new primary care program and won’t be seeing any more patients in the mental health building – he has to get rid of his entire caseload. It was devastating news. He said he was feeling a pretty strong emotional reaction over the whole thing too, but I was the one who started crying. It’s not like I haven’t cried in his office before. Sometimes I’m bawling and freaking out. But this was a just sit there, silent, what-can-I-do-absolutely-nothing kind of cry. And we just sat in silence.
He made one more appointment for me in December. I have to process this somehow. Get to the point of accepting it. I never imagined this would happen. All this time, all this work. All over. I never thought there would come a time I would just be cut off. Once I tried to cut myself off but I was pretty manic at the moment and came back again.
There is this one social worker who helped me before, and he’s asking her if she’ll take me on. He said the other male doctors have really full caseloads and that makes me wonder why they’re taking him away – where will all his patients go?
I only wanted to stop by and mention this. I have to go to class now. At least I have distractions. I have plenty of work to do. But that trickles back into my mind and makes me deflate.